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  1. Hey Savannah,
    I really enjoyed the introduction of your portfolio/storybook it was almost as if I was interacting with an NPC for a video game. What is your plan for your stories, will you use Sav as the main protagonist of your stories? Also, what if you continued your story following the theme of your introduction? I think that would be neat and is definitely going to keep the reader engaged. One suggestion I might make is for the google site itself. I was a little confused when I clicked on your page for the randomizer. It took me a second to find your introduction so you might use a bigger font for that clickable tab. Another thing I noticed was there was comments on the front page of your site. Are those comments being pulled from the comment wall or are they something else ? Overall, your page looks nice, keep up the great work!

  2. Hi Savannah!
    I really liked the commentary and humor that came out of your storybook introduction – it felt like a real person was talking to me and explaining your storybook! You made me super excited to go on the journey with you just by how your narrative character was so excited. The topic you've chosen to pursue sounds super interesting and something that you're invested in, which makes it seem like your stories are going to come from a place you're passionate about, which always makes for the best stories! The layout of your storybook is not like any of the others I've seen in this class so far. I like how each story gets it's own distinct spot on your home page with a little photo, kind of as a sneak peak into what the story will be about. I'm excited to read your stories in the coming weeks! Best of luck!

  3. Howdy Savannah!
    I loved the humor in your introduction! I've read a few funny intros, but this has been the first one to make me actually laugh out loud. I'm borderline obsessed with cryptids (I have a concerning amount of bigfoot memorabilia and a mothman finger puppet controls my car's windshield wipers, among other things) so it makes me really happy to see a project with that as its topic. I can see from your homepage that your first story is going to be with bigfoot (my favorite, I almost did my story book over bigfoot and similar creatures). Do you have any idea what other cryptids you are planning on looking at? And will you be sticking to the United States, or going world-wide? Either way, the eccentricity of your narrator is an absolute joy, and I can't wait to hear some cryptid tales told in that voice, regardless of what cryptids that might be!

  4. Wow, I really enjoy the first-person perspective of this story. The character Sav is awesome. I like the idea of her just trying to help these cryptids become part of society, despite their likely unwillingness to do so. Having the reader be a companion on her journey really sets the mood. A fantastical journey to find that which can't be found!

    I like how you included the google maps plugin and the footprint photo. It really makes it feel like Sav has handed me a map and a briefing folder, and now I have to glance through it.

    Breaking your story up into segments is a great way to show the passing of time! The inclusion of the pictures really helps to set the scene without even having to say a word.

    Welp, guess he got away this time! But at least we have the evidence to get a DNA sample! I can't wait to continue the adventure in the next part.

  5. Hey Savannah!
    I really like the image you have on your homepage and on this comment wall! Honestly, if it was a poster, I could totally see myself having it hung up in my room! The formatting of the page makes it really nice to read, and seems like something you would see in an actual magazine/journal. My papa always watched a lot of shows about bigfoot when I was growing up, so I actually recognize some of the names and references in the story. The story is like an interactive adventure, even though the readers themselves don't actually say anything. Your writing makes for an immersive experience, feeling like the reader is really on an adventure with an excited tour guide and fellow Bigfoot enthusiast. Sentence structure wise, in the second section of your Bigfoot story, you might want to mention that the build of Bigfoot is a remnant of his Neanderthal ancestry. Just to make it a bit clearer. I really liked your story, and I am definitely gonna have to check out the article the image you used came from!

  6. Hey there Savannah,
    I just finished reading the introduction and Bigfoot. I enjoyed the idea behind your storybook of using each story to explore a different cryptic. It's a great unique concept! And despite the story of Bigfoot being a 400 year old tale, the way it is executed from your first person perspective really ties together the originality of the whole thing. I learned some new things about Bigfoot and felt like I was there on a journey searching for him with your clever narration.
    The frequent pictures included throughout the story helped to keep the story interesting and the imagery alive as well. My favorite had to be the very last picture : a blurry picture that could just be a regular ape for all we know. I feel like this really resonates with every alleged sighting of some mysterious creature or UFO - cameras get better and better every year, but these pictures all look like they're taken on a potato with a lens.
    I wonder what the DNA test results will reveal? I'm excited to come back and find out later!

  7. Hey Savannah,
    I really enjoyed your first entry in your storybook! I, personally, am a massive Bigfoot fan and loved reading your story which filled in so much background around the stories and did it in such a fun and interesting way! Your humor was very well-timed in the story and always kept the reader interested, a skill that is difficult to truly exhibit well in written story. I really appreciate that and can tell you spent a lot of effort on it. One thing I did notice about your formatting, however, is that it was sometimes hard to follow whether something was happening within the story, from Sav, or from outside the story. It's hard to explain what I mean by this, but I felt that at times you were speaking to the reader and not necessarily Sav within the story. I don't know if that is something that needs addressed, or is even something that could be addressed without severely altering an already-great story. I truly did love this tale and am excited to see what we shall see in the Chupacabra story!!

  8. Hi Savannah,

    I read the introduction to your storybook and I liked it. I think the concept of Cryptid Safari is pretty cool and that there is a cryptid hunter that looks for those cryptid monsters. It kinds of reminded me of Gravity Falls from DisneyXD where the twin brother and sister solve mysteries and find a bunch of cryptid monsters. I personally love the picture you posted. It lists so many different cryptid monsters and where they're located on the map. I actually took some time to look through each one because this is an interesting to me. The first person makes the story feels like it is an amusement park type of feel, kinda reminds me of Jurassic Park a little bit where the narrator hyping up the Cryptids. Personally I don't really have any suggestions. I just enjoy reading your story and can't to see what monsters you decided to write the story on.

  9. Hi Savannah!
    I really like your introduction! It almost felt like one of those choose your own adventure stories, you know? Or like a video game. You definitely pulled off the crazy safari guide experiencing confusion thing you said you were going for in your author’s note. Your Bigfoot story is amazing! The line “That’s super inconvenient of you” is my favorite. The little check in points where your character Sav is talking to the audience are a really cool idea. Your images are really good! I like that you have so many, and there are even some you had a friend draw for you. The images really add to the story, and make it feel more exciting. I can tell that you did a lot of research on this topic, and I can tell that you are passionate about it. I can’t wait to read your next story! Great job!


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