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  1. Hey Savannah,
    I really enjoyed the introduction of your portfolio/storybook it was almost as if I was interacting with an NPC for a video game. What is your plan for your stories, will you use Sav as the main protagonist of your stories? Also, what if you continued your story following the theme of your introduction? I think that would be neat and is definitely going to keep the reader engaged. One suggestion I might make is for the google site itself. I was a little confused when I clicked on your page for the randomizer. It took me a second to find your introduction so you might use a bigger font for that clickable tab. Another thing I noticed was there was comments on the front page of your site. Are those comments being pulled from the comment wall or are they something else ? Overall, your page looks nice, keep up the great work!

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  2. Hi Savannah!
    I really liked the commentary and humor that came out of your storybook introduction – it felt like a real person was talking to me and explaining your storybook! You made me super excited to go on the journey with you just by how your narrative character was so excited. The topic you've chosen to pursue sounds super interesting and something that you're invested in, which makes it seem like your stories are going to come from a place you're passionate about, which always makes for the best stories! The layout of your storybook is not like any of the others I've seen in this class so far. I like how each story gets it's own distinct spot on your home page with a little photo, kind of as a sneak peak into what the story will be about. I'm excited to read your stories in the coming weeks! Best of luck!

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  3. Howdy Savannah!
    I loved the humor in your introduction! I've read a few funny intros, but this has been the first one to make me actually laugh out loud. I'm borderline obsessed with cryptids (I have a concerning amount of bigfoot memorabilia and a mothman finger puppet controls my car's windshield wipers, among other things) so it makes me really happy to see a project with that as its topic. I can see from your homepage that your first story is going to be with bigfoot (my favorite, I almost did my story book over bigfoot and similar creatures). Do you have any idea what other cryptids you are planning on looking at? And will you be sticking to the United States, or going world-wide? Either way, the eccentricity of your narrator is an absolute joy, and I can't wait to hear some cryptid tales told in that voice, regardless of what cryptids that might be!

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  4. Wow, I really enjoy the first-person perspective of this story. The character Sav is awesome. I like the idea of her just trying to help these cryptids become part of society, despite their likely unwillingness to do so. Having the reader be a companion on her journey really sets the mood. A fantastical journey to find that which can't be found!

    I like how you included the google maps plugin and the footprint photo. It really makes it feel like Sav has handed me a map and a briefing folder, and now I have to glance through it.

    Breaking your story up into segments is a great way to show the passing of time! The inclusion of the pictures really helps to set the scene without even having to say a word.

    Welp, guess he got away this time! But at least we have the evidence to get a DNA sample! I can't wait to continue the adventure in the next part.

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    1. Looks like it's time for another adventure with Sav! The chupacabra is a cryptid that I don't know much about other than its name. Luckily I've got Sav to help brief me on the case. A kangaroo-monkey-crab is definitely not a combination that I ever want to meet in real life. You did an excellent job with the pictures this time too! It looks so creepy! Breaking the story up into chunks like this really does help with making it a more digestible read. I think it's a great idea to add another character with knowledge of the area and topic. It really feels like we are going on an expedition to Puerto Rico. Setting another trap is definitely a good plan, but I'm glad we didn't have to harm any goats in the end. At least there's a bright side, now we have a new friend to join us on our adventurers!

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  5. Hey Savannah!
    I really like the image you have on your homepage and on this comment wall! Honestly, if it was a poster, I could totally see myself having it hung up in my room! The formatting of the page makes it really nice to read, and seems like something you would see in an actual magazine/journal. My papa always watched a lot of shows about bigfoot when I was growing up, so I actually recognize some of the names and references in the story. The story is like an interactive adventure, even though the readers themselves don't actually say anything. Your writing makes for an immersive experience, feeling like the reader is really on an adventure with an excited tour guide and fellow Bigfoot enthusiast. Sentence structure wise, in the second section of your Bigfoot story, you might want to mention that the build of Bigfoot is a remnant of his Neanderthal ancestry. Just to make it a bit clearer. I really liked your story, and I am definitely gonna have to check out the article the image you used came from!

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  6. Hey there Savannah,
    I just finished reading the introduction and Bigfoot. I enjoyed the idea behind your storybook of using each story to explore a different cryptic. It's a great unique concept! And despite the story of Bigfoot being a 400 year old tale, the way it is executed from your first person perspective really ties together the originality of the whole thing. I learned some new things about Bigfoot and felt like I was there on a journey searching for him with your clever narration.
    The frequent pictures included throughout the story helped to keep the story interesting and the imagery alive as well. My favorite had to be the very last picture : a blurry picture that could just be a regular ape for all we know. I feel like this really resonates with every alleged sighting of some mysterious creature or UFO - cameras get better and better every year, but these pictures all look like they're taken on a potato with a lens.
    I wonder what the DNA test results will reveal? I'm excited to come back and find out later!

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  7. Hey Savannah,
    I really enjoyed your first entry in your storybook! I, personally, am a massive Bigfoot fan and loved reading your story which filled in so much background around the stories and did it in such a fun and interesting way! Your humor was very well-timed in the story and always kept the reader interested, a skill that is difficult to truly exhibit well in written story. I really appreciate that and can tell you spent a lot of effort on it. One thing I did notice about your formatting, however, is that it was sometimes hard to follow whether something was happening within the story, from Sav, or from outside the story. It's hard to explain what I mean by this, but I felt that at times you were speaking to the reader and not necessarily Sav within the story. I don't know if that is something that needs addressed, or is even something that could be addressed without severely altering an already-great story. I truly did love this tale and am excited to see what we shall see in the Chupacabra story!!

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    1. Hey Savannah,
      I just got back from reading your second installment of the Cryptic Safari and I am still wholly enamored! I was much less familiar with the story and lore of the Chupacabra that I was with the Bigfoot example coming into this story, but I can say that you definitely changed that! I did also like the inclusion of Claudia into the story. I do feel she supplied a necessary role in this story and helped flesh out any thin spots you may have had in your plot line otherwise. This week we were supposed to focus on Author's Note, and yours are all excellent. They do an amazing job of supplying the reader with the necessary extra information and do so succinctly. I do like your own admission that you intend to tweak the story more in the Note. It shows the readers that you are taking care to factor in their feedback as you make the story better, a very important aspect of writing in this class! Loved the story and excited to see how it finishes up!

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  8. Hi Savannah,

    I read the introduction to your storybook and I liked it. I think the concept of Cryptid Safari is pretty cool and that there is a cryptid hunter that looks for those cryptid monsters. It kinds of reminded me of Gravity Falls from DisneyXD where the twin brother and sister solve mysteries and find a bunch of cryptid monsters. I personally love the picture you posted. It lists so many different cryptid monsters and where they're located on the map. I actually took some time to look through each one because this is an interesting to me. The first person makes the story feels like it is an amusement park type of feel, kinda reminds me of Jurassic Park a little bit where the narrator hyping up the Cryptids. Personally I don't really have any suggestions. I just enjoy reading your story and can't to see what monsters you decided to write the story on.

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  9. Hi Savannah!
    I really like your introduction! It almost felt like one of those choose your own adventure stories, you know? Or like a video game. You definitely pulled off the crazy safari guide experiencing confusion thing you said you were going for in your author’s note. Your Bigfoot story is amazing! The line “That’s super inconvenient of you” is my favorite. The little check in points where your character Sav is talking to the audience are a really cool idea. Your images are really good! I like that you have so many, and there are even some you had a friend draw for you. The images really add to the story, and make it feel more exciting. I can tell that you did a lot of research on this topic, and I can tell that you are passionate about it. I can’t wait to read your next story! Great job!

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  10. Hi Savannah, I really enjoyed reading the stories from your project! I enjoyed your introduction as it shows Sav’s sense of humor and expresses how excited she is about the subject of cryptids. As for your stories, I really enjoyed your use of pictures as the maps helped to show the reader the region in which the cryptid was seen and the variety of other pictures in the story make it seem like the reader is actually on a safari. The separation of all the paragraphs also make it seem as each paragraph was spoken at a different time thus strengthening that impression that we are on a safari through the cryptids territory. I also liked how you included the author’s note as a separate page, so it doesn’t take away from the actual stories. The author’s note also did a good job of explaining the format of your stories and why you included or omitted details throughout. Overall, your storybook project looks great, and I am excited to see how you will finish the project off.

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  11. Hi Savannah, I love this storybook! It's completely different from all the other ones I've read for this class so far. I like the tone of your writing—it's funny, informal yet informative, and adventurous. The links to websites you included help for readers who are curious to read more about the different cryptids you include. I think that ties your storybook to the real world in a cool way.The images on each page really add to your story too, the illustrations and maps especially. I also love Wyatt Ballenger! He was in my scandals cast last year. I'm glad you included one of his illustrations. I thought your division of the stories into paragraphs was good, and the alternating background colors helped break the stories up too. The only suggestions I have are to maybe standardize the size of the banner image for the stories and make sure the source information is the same size font from picture to picture. Great work!

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  12. Hi Savannah!
    I really enjoyed reading your introduction and home page! I liked the interactive feel to it, that made it fun. Your introduction got me pumped to read your stories. I have always enjoyed hearing tales about Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. Unfortunately, I don't know much about the Jersey Devil. So, I am happy to see you included it. Your storybook is full of fun adventures. I love reading stories about adventures and hunts. There are also maps for your readers to get a better understanding about where we can search for the cryptids.
    The images on your pages are wonderful and add wonderfully to your stories. I also love the picture that your friend drew! I had a blast reading and learning from your stories! Great job!

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  13. Hey Savannah! I liked the topics you chose for your storybook project, and honestly I loved the way you weaved history behind the lore into the story as we were reading it. I read through the stories on my cell phone so I was confused at the chunks of dark tan background with text because it didn't feel like it flowed together, but maybe the web version has a very clear distinction between the storyline and history background? I love the tone of the narrator(s)! I think the introduction has quite a lot of exclamation marks, though, unless they're just that excited. Great work!

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  14. Howdy Savannah!
    What a bright and enticing home page! I like that I was immediately greeted with cute cartoons of some notorious cryptids and a hyperlink to their corresponding page. It's good that readers can be directed to your stories in multiple ways, from both the top of page tabs and the Home page overview bar! Just one suggestion, I would make the "Hello and Welcome" text box not a drop down menu since it's such a short paragraph. I appreciate that you alternated the story pages background color from box to box, as this just adds to the easy to read/bitesize nature of each paragraph. Good job on your links and sources/biblio. Your referencing/linking and giving due credit gives very professional vibes. Thanks for putting a map on each story page, as this gives me a good idea of where not to visit. Sorry I don't have any real constructive feedback as this blog is already very well put together! Overall really great work and I'm excited to see the third installment.

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  15. Hi Savannah!
    I enjoyed the introduction to your portfolio! It added a personal touch to the tales told, and made it feel like we were watching a reality tv show go down. The image added was a nice idea as it helped me visualize what kind of cryptids we would be seeing stories about. I think it's great that you were able to pull drawings from a friend instead of the internet! It adds to the whole monster-hunting atmosphere, as photographs aren't always taken and a lot of legends are just hand-drawn sketches. Your use of paragraph breaks and attaching photos to the side of them made the website seem more like an expedition journal taken on an adventure. The entire site is crafted in a manner that plays into your narrative greatly. One note would be that the author's note should be at the end of each story, but I see why you moved it to another page as to not break the immersion of the reader.

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  16. Hey Savannah,
    I starred at your home page image for several minutes looking at all the different Cryptids and where they are. Your homepage is inviting and I like the three images you use for the cryptids you will be addressing. They are both intriguing and simply fun to look at. I love your use of images on each page. Most of your photos are real-life images with a few animated or map images, but they all go along with your story. One thing I may note for the reason of consistency and flow, you use two sizes of a banner image and I recommend choosing one and making it the same for each page. For example, the home page and the Chupacabra page both of large banner images that take up the whole page. Whereas the other pages of medium/small banner images that do not take up the whole page. I love your interactive tone of writing. It really keeps me active while reading. Chupacabra is a great story. It starts off with an educational tone and transitions to suspenseful and ends with joy and excitement for what is next. The story transitions well through these emotions with different paragraph breaks and dialogue. Great story, Savannah!

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